Energy Vampires: It’s Not Them, It’s You!

In the last couple of decades the term “Energy Vampire” has become a part of pop-culture lingo but I bet you do not know where the term derives it’s origins.

The Terms Origins & Meaning

Energy Vampire, synonymous with the term Psychic Vampire, is suspected to have been coined in occult literature by Dion Fortune in the 1930s, in the book Psychic Self Defence.  The term; however, was popularized in the 1960s by Anton LaVey in The Satanic Bible. The terms original meaning was Who knew!

So what does the term mean? Essentially a psychic vampire is a mythological creature who fed off the life force of other living creatures. According to the LaVey the term represents a spiritually or emotionally weak person who drains energy from other people. However, in modern times the term has been popularized to refer to people whose influence leaves a person feeling exhausted, unfocused, and depressed. The latter modern definition does not mention the phenomenon of spiritual or psychic influence.

The Problem With The Term… It’s not them, it’s you!

In my coaching practice I often hear the term Energy Vampire when  client is describing someone in their life who they claim drains their energy or brings them down. In fact, this is a term that I too have used with my clients and in my own life; however, I have also been on a years long journey exploring mindfulness.

Mindfulness is essentially about bringing your attention to the current experience you are having.The experience of mindfulness is simply one of noticing without judgement. (Not to complicate things, but the noticing of ones judgement or ones tendency to judge can also be a very powerful experience)

So I must ask the question, what might a mindful practice or mindfulness approach suggest about this? Here is what I think it might say…

When you say someone is an energy vampire, it is your perception of this person and judgement on this person that gives you permission to label them as such. Therefore, because of your judgement you begin to react to them in a way that appears to be energy draining. Let me say this again in a different way… the Energy Vampire is you!  It’s you allowing your energy to be drained because of your perception and judgement about another persons behaviour.

“Let me say this again in a different way… the Energy Vampire is you!  It’s you allowing your energy to be drained because of your perception and judgement about another persons behaviour.”

The person you are claiming to drain your energy is doing what they do. Like clouds in the sky – if they are dark and ominous or white and fluffy – what you think of them does not change their existence, but what you think of them can change your existence.

What can you do about it?

If you truly want to get rid of an Energy Vampire for once and for all. You must change how you react and respond to people who you think are draining. You must remember that you are the one draining your own energy by your response to them or by how you view them. The first step is to simply notice how you feel, then notice where that feeling is coming from without blaming the other person in any way. You might then remind yourself that the Energy Vampire is inside you, it’s your perception, and it can be changed if you choose it to be.

This subject is important because we tend to place the blame on other people and their energy rather than taking responsibility for yourself and your perception.

Christopher is the CEO and Founder of Change My Life Coaching —  a fast growing whole-life coaching company, and the only one of it’s kind.  He is also the author of “Go Beyond Passion: Discover Your Dream Job”. Christopher spent 15+ years working in the corporate world with a plethora of industries and companies. His focus was primarily in planning, strategy, and leadership of change management and communication. Christopher is a Certified Master Coach Practitioner (CMCP), trainer and facilitator, and a passionate public speaker who truly cares about the success of each and every single person he comes into contact with. You can reach him at

4 thoughts on “Energy Vampires: It’s Not Them, It’s You!”

  1. Love this article… so perfect as yesterday was a tough one… thanks for bringing me back to self. Love you Christopher. So excited for you with your new venture.

  2. This is very interesting to me! I have used this term on a few occasions with some people and have tended to avoid those people because I was depleted afterwards. Hmmmm a change in perception and thinking is interesting because really, we are the ones in control of how we “feel” or react to someone else. Thank you for the reminder.

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