The Five Best Questions to Ask Yourself During Personal Conflict

We all deal with conflict at some point in our lives. Whether it be at work, home or school. Conflict can happen with anyone, it can be with family, friends, coworkers, bosses, teachers, students or even the person on the street that cut you off and gave you the finger. And conflict can be about anything what-so-ever, no topic is safe from conflict in our world.

Conflict can not be avoided; however, it can be managed and it can be productive.  There are a lot of different ways to deal with conflict but why not start by asking yourself these powerful questions before, during or even after you are in conflict to ensure that your conflict is productive. All of the questions are introspective. Meaning, we cannot control what anybody else does but we can control what we do, so we always want to start with us?

  1. What am I hoping to get out of this situation and are my words and behaviours in line with that outcome?
  2. Is what I’m saying or doing helping to build up and work towards a solution or is it tearing down and working towards more conflict?
  3. Where might I be thinking narrowly right now?
  4. How am I contributing to the solution right now?
  5. Is this important enough for me to have a conflict right now?

All of these questions are intended to create the kind of introspection required to ensure that you recognize that only you are in control of what you say, do and think.


Christopher is the Chief Value Officer and Founder of Change My Life Coaching and Change My Business Coaching—  a fast growing life, leadership and business coaching company, and the only one of it’s kind.  He is also the author of “Go Beyond Passion: Discover Your Dream Job”. Christopher spent 15+ years working in the corporate world with a plethora of industries and companies. His focus was primarily in planning, strategy, and leadership of change management and communication. Christopher is a Certified Master Coach Practitioner (CMCP), trainer and facilitator, and a passionate public speaker who truly cares about the success of each and every single person he comes into contact with. You can reach him at

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