But the truth is that that question drives you in the ditch. It doesn’t help you. And some people think, I have to figure this out, I have to know why, and it’s like.
Hello, people of the world, it’s me, Christopher Lawrence. It’s fun to come up with new ways of greeting you. I tried to do stuff that kinda changes your state of mind and also mine. You can learn more about me at changemylifecoaching.ca.
I Know What I’m Supposed to Be Doing, Why Am I Not Doing This?
Today I wanted to talk to you about have you ever kinda gotten to that place in your life where you feel stuck and you’re asking yourself that question, why can’t I blank? I know what I’m supposed to be doing, but why am I not blank? I can’t figure out this why I’m not capable of blank. Any of those kinds of questions, so it’s like let’s say it’s like a fitness based question. I do a lot with motivation, by the way, getting people clear and focused in increasing their motivation on getting moving with things. So let’s say it’s fitness, ’cause that’s one of the most common ones. So imagine for a minute that you’re trying to go to the gym and you set this goal on January 1st, and then all the sudden, by mid-February, you’re like, why am I not doing this? I know what I’m supposed to be doing, why am I not doing this?
I wanna tell you what that does. That question, why am I not doing this, that question tells your brain to answer it and give you a reason. And every time a client says to me, I can’t figure out why I’m not blah, blah, blah, do you know what I say? Yes, you do know why. Tell me why. And they give me an answer. And I say, great, it doesn’t even matter what the answer is because the truth is, whatever your first answer is, that’s probably it. And there’s probably 100 other answers why you’re not doing something, too. But the truth is is that that question drives you in the ditch. It doesn’t help you. And some people think, I have to figure this out, I have to know, but knowing why might be based in the past anyway, so what does it matter?
It’s Probably Really Simple
So yeah, sometimes we gotta do a little bit of deep work maybe with a psychologist, probably not a coach, but sometimes we gotta do a little bit of deep work to kind of uncover why something is happening. The truth is, though, is that to me, if I’m driving down the road, where am I supposed to be looking? I’m supposed to be looking at the destination I’m going. That’s where I’m supposed to focus. They tell you this, look in front of you and pay attention to your surroundings. So yes, you gotta look left and right sometimes and whatever else, but focus on the destination that you’re going to. And then if I say to you, hey, look at these cute animals off on the side of the ride, where does the car start to go? It starts to go on the side of the road. It starts to go in the ditch. The way that I kinda describe a question like, why am I not blank, why am I not getting motivated, why am I not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I just can’t figure out why. All of those questions are driving you into the ditch, so they’re taking you off your path. So answer the question so that you can move on. And give yourself your first answer ’cause it’s not that complex. It’s probably not as deep and unsolvable as you think. Instead, it’s probably really simple.
What Needs To Happen For Me To Get Focused On This Goal?
Instead, what you might ask, so you say, why am I not doing this, honestly, ’cause I feel tired or honestly, I have no energy at the end of the day or honestly, it’s because I’m not making it a priority. Okay, great, great, great. Now you know. So let’s move on. But the question, the line of questioning that you should be asking yourself is what needs to, so instead of saying, why am I not doing something, say instead, what needs to happen for me to get movement in this area, what needs to happen for me to get focused on this goal, what needs to happen for me to have more energy at the end of the day, what needs to happen for me to find a better time of day to do the thing that I wanna do? What needs to happen is something that’s keeping you focused on your destination. So if we’re, again, let’s go back to driving down the highway. If we’re driving down the highway and we’re trying to get to a destination, we should remain focused on that destination. When we ask our brain questions, why am I not whatever, you’re pulling off to the side of the road and sometimes driving into the ditch and getting distracted by something that doesn’t matter. Instead, ask questions that keep you focused on it. So if I say, if we’re literally driving down the road, and I say, hey, look over here or maybe we should stop and inspect the car or maybe we should, none of that stuff is getting you to your destination.
What’s The Route To The Destination?
So instead, we say, hey, what’s the route to the destination? Geez, it looks like we’re gonna run out of gas. Where do we need to be, what needs to happen for us to fill up our tank again. Oh geez, our map is tattered and ripped and it’s like, okay, what needs to happen to get a new map as opposed to lamenting the fact that our map is tattered and ripped. Oh, my map for life is tattered and ripped, and it’s like, okay, well you can focus on that for the rest of your life and listen, I get it. I had a really screwed up childhood too. But then what? But then what? So do you sit there and lament your tattered and ripped map your entire life? And I get it, it’s hard sometimes. I get it! The way I grew up, sometimes I have really bad days still and I’m 40 now. But the idea is I can lament my map, my ripped and tattered map or I can ask why did this happen, why is my map ripped and tattered or whatever or how come I just can’t seem to figure it out or whatever or I could ask myself what needs to happen for me to get to my destination with a ripped and tattered map or what needs to happen for me to get a new map or what needs to happen for me to ask for help or who could I ask for help. All of this stuff.
So I hope that’s really helpful. Today was very serious. My name is Christopher Lawrence. You can check me out at www.changemylifecoaching.ca. And listen, if you have ever even asked yourself one of those questions that keeps your brain stuck, don’t post that below, instead post a question below if you’ve hung on this long, six and a half minutes is a long time for a video. If you’ve hung on this long, post a question below that helps you get focused on your destination. Really powerful, moving forward kinds of questions. Okay? I’d like to hear that from you folks. Talk to you soon. Bye.