Inspired Action For Imperfect Humans – S2EP11: “Doritos Changed My Life”
“Doritos Changed My Life” Brief Summary of Show:
In this episode learn to take inspired action as we ask the questions, “How do we change hard habits?” and “What do we need to do, to lock in a new habit?” Host Christopher Lawrence tells a story about how Doritos changed his life and gives key steps to change unhealthy negative habits.
Calls to Action:
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Christopher Lawrence LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/career-life-coach-christopher-lawrence/
Kyle Kalloo LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-kalloo/
Change My Life Coaching & Strategic Leader LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/6446498/admin/
Change My Life Coaching: https://changemylifecoaching.ca
Strategic Leader: https://strategicleader.ca
“Doritos Changed My Life” Transcript:
If you want to lock a habit in hardcore, randomize your reward, because then you’ll keep going back to get the bigger payoff.
[Male Voice] Is the thought of being imperfect keeping you from taking action. Welcome to “Inspired Action for Imperfect Humans”. Each week, we give you real life stories and thought provoking research that inspires your soul to live a more fulfilled life through your own actions. From the heart of Calgary Canada. Here are your hosts award winning coaches Christopher Lawrence and Kyle Kalloo.
Hello? Hello.
What’s happening? Christopher James Lawrence
Where my people at?
Its been a minute, its been a minute.
It’s been a hot minute. To our listeners, they won’t know that, but we, we had taken a little bit of a break from recording, so they won’t know that. Uh Kyle why are you so grumpy today?
I am not grumpy, why would you say I’m grumpy? I don’t know.
The whole team has come and talked to me about it so.
Whatever. You tell me, what, what should I be grumpy about? Cause it’s usually whatever we talk about is where I end up becoming grumpy, based on what you say. So
Oh, so every time I open my mouth, you become grumpy.
There you go, there you go.
Good. Do you see what I’m working with you guys? Do you see what I’m working with here.
How lucky are you. How lucky are you.
Oh yeah lucky, I’ll tell you what, I’m being stretched right now. Uh Kyle today, I want to talk about how Doritos changed my life.
Really? Doritos?
Yes they did. So I’m going to tell a little story. This goes back a little bit of a way. Okay. So when, when I was younger, I got a fairly generous allowance, my parents weren’t rich, but it was like here’s your allowance, but you got to buy your own clothes, your own deodorant, you know, like toiletries, and if you want treats or snacks, but that’s it. You get what you get and then that’s it. So save, don’t save, whatever of course, you know they didn’t teach us how to save at the time. They weren’t, you know, they were busy people and they were focused on what they needed to be. Right. They were making ends meet and I think that’s hard as a parent. And um so I’d take my allowance and I I’d go to the store like before it opened, I’d go to that store.
Like the store corner store kind of thing.
The corner store kind of thing, right! Good old Saskatoon.
Why they always on a corner?
College Park Corner store. I don’t know, but, but I’d go, I’d help her open the store up Right? The, the woman that ran it,
Like set some stuff up? you know, like set stuff up, unlock some cases for her. Right. All that kind of stuff. And, you know, cause their back hurt a little bit. And then I would buy junk food and so you know, I got a taste for junk food and then, you know, fast fast forward, you know so this happened like every day for a year, right? So it was like really easy to form a habit. And that’s really what today’s about. Today’s all about habits and you know, fast forward a number of years, I got involved with drugs, some pretty hard drugs you know? I’m also happy to say that I’m 21 years sober from drugs.
Congrats. Congrats on that. Yeah. No congrats on that. 21 years is a long time.
Are you saying I’m old?
To not go back. It just means you’re disciplined. You know what I mean? Like it’s, 21 years want years of not doing something that, you know, you do all the time. Right?
Well, it’s funny that you say I’m disciplined because I don’t feel disciplined. Right. This, this, you know, this kind of ties into Angela Duckworth’s work on grit, right? That’s like, so, so I did drugs for a number of years Um not super long, but long enough that I knew I had a problem. Right. I get it all fixed up. And of course, people who are coming off of hard drugs they often eat a lot of junk food after. Right? High sugary stuff mostly, stuff that gets your glycemic response because you’re looking for that, that high, right. You’re looking for that rush.
Okay
So I had a lot of junk and so like Coke and candy and chips and all of this stuff. And, and, and Doritos were part of it, particularly zesty cheese Doritos.
Okay.
And, and so that became the new thing. So if I ever got stressed out or if I was celebrating, I would eat zesty cheese Doritos. If I was looking to relax, I’d eat zesty cheese Doritos. If I was socializing, I would eat zesty cheese Doritos. And of course at the time I was emaciated. Like I weighed, you know I I I, I should weigh about like 150, 155. I’m a little bit higher than that right now, but at the time I was 118 pounds. Like I was emaciated.
Whoa
So eating zesty cheese Doritos, you know, like, like there was no impact of it. Let’s fast forward again, here I am running a business and I’m like the habits guy, right? Like I can change I, you know, I go to a new location, new job, new career. I go travel. I’ve got a routine within a few minutes. Like I establish a new routine.
I know that’s true yes.
Right. Totally. Right. Like, I set the whole space up, the physical space, the mind space it, right, the psychological space. I set it all up for a new habit. But for the life of me, I could not stop eating these effing chips. And, and I couldn’t figure it out. I’m like, I’m a habits guy. Like I can change habits so quickly. I coach this, you know, but I could not change this habit. And, and Kyle, I was eating so many zesty cheese Doritos that not only was I putting weight on, but I was getting such bad acid reflux and heartburn that it was like, like I couldn’t sleep at night. Like it was bad. And it, and I actually had something called Esophagitis. So it would like start to close my esophagus and food would get stuck in my esophagus
Right yea
if I didn’t drink water, and sometimes I’d have to like, you know, this is so gross, but vomit to get it out. Right. Like this is like, these things were like destroying my life. And, and I thought like nothing against zesty cheese Doritos. I mean, they’re really good chip and they changed my life in a really positive way but I had to start, I had to stop eating them. was the issue.
I’m curious when you said you were having so many were you like in one sitting? or is just everyday routine? you know, are you talking about the family size? Are you talking about, you know, small, but like when you say a lot, what do you mean?
Oh Kyle, I’m talking like Costco size you know, in the course of like a day or two
That’s a while. Don’t you just feel like the taste, like, you’re just done?
Oh yea, this is, this is the point of it, right? Like the first three chips taste amazing.
Oh fun.
But, then they start to taste the same and of course, you know, the marketers are very smart. Like some of our best researchers and scientists are working in companies like this designing these chips right down to the crinkle of the package, the design, the randomization of the reward you know how some chips have more cheese and some have less and somehow have more flavor and some have less. And you know
Yeah. They never uniformed. Yeah you’re right, It’s even with, yeah, because then you think I want to get the other one that looks darker, maybe it has more or they…
If you want to lock a habit in, hardcore randomize your reward, cause then you’ll keep going back to get the bigger payoff. So this is how these chips are designed, deliberately or not deliberately. It’s deliberate. You know, they spend a lot of time and money on this stuff. And so, so good that’s their job, right? Like we need people to have jobs, no insult to Doritos We need people to have jobs, people enjoy chips, keep doing what you do. Right. And if you, if you don’t have the issues that I did you should keep eating them. Okay. So I, it took me a long time to figure this out. Right. It took me a long time to figure out where the hell is this going wrong. So I had to take some steps and we’re going to talk about some steps today. and, and some research we’ll talk about research first. But, the steps that I took was, I actually had to become hyper aware of when am I eating these? So particularly location and time. So like, where are you? And what time is it? Those are big. Right? And we’ll talk more about steps, but but I had to become super mindful. And do you know what I noticed the biggest trigger was? It took me, it took me over a year to figure this out of being deliberate and this is the thing, people tried to change a habit I’m going to start working out at the new year, I’m going to take a new course in the fall, I’m going to do, I’m going to do, I’m going to do but what they don’t realize is that with each of those things there’s a series of habitual things that need to change, it’s not just one thing. Right? Like you think about somebody who smokes Kyle, right? That they probably smoke for lots of reasons. It might be because they’re bored, it might be to relax,
To be part of a group, going out on a smoke break.
It might be to socialize. exactly right.
Yeah
So I had to break it down. And there was just like, like I, you know I cleaned up a lot of it fairly quickly but I just couldn’t get away from it on Friday nights. And if I would have those chips it led to another routine of like, oh, well order a pizza and I’ve got all this salty food so I’m going to want something sweet so get some pop and get some chocolate bars like like you see? I know that there are listeners out there who are looking in and saying he’s neurotic. And while that might be true, Well, that might be true. There are a lot of listeners probably the majority going, geez, this sounds familiar.
Of course yeah
So I had to be super mindful about it and pay attention and tracking is so important with habits. So I started to paying, paying attention to time, location you know, amongst other things, how I was feeling, who I was with all that stuff. Do you know what I noticed? It was always Friday nights and it was always at the gas station,
Gas station?
Fill up my car at the end of the week gas stations right there, the end of a long week I’m a little stressed out, not stressed out, but you you want to unwind right?
Of course
So for me,
That’s a sense of accomplishment that you got through the week. And so then you feel like you wanted to treat yourself?
That’s it. I think it was less about treating myself. It was more about kicking off the beginning of unwinding. That’s what the payoff was.
Got it.
Right. So then I eat, eat, eat, eat, eat and I was like, okay, well start fresh on Monday. Simple as cause I know you’re asking already.
Yeah. Yeah.
You’re asking, well, what did you do? You’re asking that right? Go ahead, Kyle, ask that.
So what did you do? Like what was happening?
I stopped getting gas on Friday nights. For me, that was the thing. If I didn’t get gas on Friday nights I would get it in the morning on another day of the week or another evening uh and I was less compelled to buy the chips because it’s like I’m not going to, I’m not going to buy chips first thing in the morning, like cravings not there, desires not there Right? stop buying it. I just went home at the end of the day on Fridays.
Okay.
That’s what I did and I stopped buying zesty cheese Doritos which meant that I bought a whole lot less pizza which meant I had bought a whole lot less pop which meant I bought a whole lot less candy and then it wasn’t this like weekend of binging. But it, it took a, it took almost a year. I think it was about eight months to figure that out and it was like, just pay attention, keep paying attention.
Are you thinking? So I hear that, that makes sense and I can understand that I, and I follow that, but I’m curious well, what do you do for gas? The gas was that like you were saying the cue to start it all off. Do you not get gas, does someone else get gas for you?
No
I already said I get it in see, I wish you would listen to me. You don’t listen to me.
I think i was stuck on the zesty cheese Doritos to be honest.
Everybody’s thinking about, thinking about those chips right now everyone’s going to go out and buy a bag
Yeah when was the last time I had a bag?
See this is the thing about habits just talking about it, some people are craving it right now.
Yeah. Yeah. because I think you hit on a few things that would be triggered in our brain around “I remember the last time I had that” and “what did I get out of that”? Right. So anyway, so remind me, I’m sure other people have heard it but just for the interest of this story, I’m curious, what did you do? What? You didn’t get gas. You like what what? Yeah.
So I just got gas on a, either in the morning on a different day or a different evening.
And you didn’t feel the cue because you were, so it wasn’t the okay. It wasn’t the, there’s a combination of okay. Yeah. I hear you.
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s it’s, it works really well. Like I can’t tell you the last time I had zesty cheese Doritos.
Because that’s the thing too, is people may think, which is where I went with it is that it’s not the gas that is the, is the cue, it’s a combination of this, it’s it’s Friday, it’s end of the week. I want right? It just happens to be
Well time and location, it was the cue in this case but it was also associated with that, the payoff. So, so let’s talk about that. I thought we could tell one more story about your habit with the lack of successful relationships. I’m just kidding.
Uh What?
Sorry. That’s a whole other therapy session.
Yeah, I was just like What? Hey, I figured out why I’m not in relationships, so yeah that’s another story.yeah I don’t think we’ll do a podcast on that, but I figured it out.
Well we’ll need a years worth of podcasts to sort that out
I figured that out. Okay. So, okay. So what does the research say on habits and stuff? Like what?
So this, so this is really interesting. I’m just going to point to one piece of research it’s a piece of research that came out of the UK 248 people. They took them and they said that their control groups so their control group was told, just track your exercise. That’s it. Uhh group B was told, was given a motivational uh presentation and some information. Okay. That’s what they were given and track your exercise. Group C was given everything that group B was so motivational presentation, some information, and they also came up with a little bit of an intent, a plan.
Okay
Came up with an intent and a plan. So like, I will exercise intensely for 20 minutes on these days and then they followed them for a period of time. Do you know what came out of that result? What, what would be your guess?
I don’t know. I think the people who have information and people who were tracking what they were doing would probably have more success.
That’s what I would think too.
Yeah.
Right. But all three groups tracked. So I think tracking does increase. Like I wish that they had had a group that did nothing.
Oh, okay. I was going to say, yeah
But had an intention of exercising, like like it’s just like, oh we’re tracking exercise habits or, you know, as as as research and then it’s just like, like how did that? And then through observation, how much did they exercise? Because I think tracking does increase compliance with behavioral change. For sure. Tracking alone can actually have an impact
Yup
But here’s actually, so so they didn’t have that as part of their control.
Okay
And I think that’s a miss. Okay. So, but how do you do it when people are like at home? I guess, I guess you could have them all use one gym and then they could just observe who comes in and out of that gym. Right. But that changes it a bit too because the location of the gym might impede Right. So, so I don’t know how you do that, but but here’s what they found. About 30%, just over 30% of group A, the control group exercised. Okay?
Okay.
Makes sense?
Yeah.
Now group B got the motivational stuff and the information, it was it was, sorry group A was 35 to 38% of the people, was group A. Group B was 35 to 38% of the people exercised. It was the same as the control group. Meaning, getting motivational speech, tracking, and getting some information didn’t increase compliance to exercise and habits any more than just tracking.
That’s interesting because so many people say, oh I just need to be motivated. I just need to be, I need someone to motivate me, I need to, interesting.
Isn’t that fascinating? Group C, it was greater than 90%.
Okay. And what did group C get get again?
Group C set the intent with a mini plan. With a mini plan, mini plan being, I will exercise on these days at these times
Ahh Right? Not just I’m going to do it. Oh okay.
That doesn’t mean that the exercise was quality, that they lost weight, this was just tracking how many of the people would exercise.
Yeah for sure.
And 95% of group C, I think it was 95, It was over 90% of group C exercised.
Interesting.
So I’m going to get into some really quick steps here, Kyle. Cause I’m looking at the time and of course I’ve talked too much as usual.
Right. And every time it’s my thing, you’re going to be reminding me of the time every 5 minutes. Yeah got it.
Kyle, I need you to speed up.
Yeah got it. Yeah. I’m waiting for it. Yeah. Next week. Next week. You’ll hear it guys be sure.
Wait, I’ll do it right at the start just for a laugh.
Steps, back to steps.
Okay. So steps. So people have heard this it’s out there but just in case you haven’t, all habits have a cue. It’s the thing that kicks it off. Cue, routine, reward. So the cue is the trigger. It’s the thing that sets it off. It could be, you know, it could be smelling donuts, it could be location, it could be time of day. Okay. There’s the routine that’s the behavior that you take and then there’s the reward, that’s the payoff. After the reward, if the reward is strong enough, your brain is cued up to look for that cue again and you’ll go search it out. So actually people have created their own stress just to go and eat a piece of cake cause they want the cake.
Right Right.
Right. So, so keeping all that in mind what people need to pay attention to because this is the part in all of the books that I have read about habit change is that they’re, they are they are overstating the simplicity of changing habits, through understanding these mechanisms and putting your identity to, towards it, to to make a change in habit, mindfulness is your most powerful tool. You cannot, and you know this from the business world, Kyle you can not effectively change what you don’t effectively track and measure. So you have to know it. So I would spend, and this is leading into the call to action here. If there was a habit that I wanted to change, I, and this is what I did, spend time on when when you execute or when you crave that habit,
it’s like going back to K what’s happening around the craving of habit, right? Like you were saying, okay.
So when you’re craving that habit or after like when you’re in the middle of executing on that habit or you’ve executed upon the habit. So like post smoking, post zesty cheese Doritos, post avoiding the gym. Right? What, what what you do is you ask yourself, “where was I?” “What time of day was it?” “Who else was around?” “What emotion was I feeling?” “And what did I just do?”
Right. What was it? Yeah.
What did I just do? Because sometimes it’s like, you know how you go to the gym? So many of us, we go to the gym and then we want to eat healthy. Right? That’s a habit. The gym, post gym is a cue for have a salad. Right?
Yup.
So I think our inspired call to action here is to inventory some of your habits and then choose one of them that you want to work on and the first step is to become mindful through understanding your habit through tracking those five questions paying really close attention to it.
Yeah. Because I feel if you’re not looking like most things, if you’re not even aware, like you said, if you’re not even aware of it, right? How are you going to change something you don’t even know? Right. And that’s the thing. And the other thing, I am curious what you think just as we wrapping this up is around the habits. You know, people associate habits as a bad thing like some visual stuff is good. It’s just the stuff that you you want to change because you know I remember chatting with someone that like, oh I just need to just cut out that habit. Can you cut out a habit?
Nah, no habits no habits need to be replaced. So here’s the thing. Your cue will always be the same. This is how neuroplasticity works, when you smell donuts, unless you have a new look at it this way actually, let’s go to a movie theater. What’s the first thing that people do? They smell popcorn.
Oh Jesus, popcorn. Well I’ve been in the movie theater business to know before everyone comes in, you start the popcorn.
Yup Yup
Before they even get there the popcorn has to be started.
Yup Yup totally, you’ve got to get that smell moving through right?
Yup, so here’s the thing, you, you, the cue will always exist cause the cue is almost always out of our control although you can remove it from you, right? Like you can take a different way home from work, you can not get gas on Fridays, and get it on Thursday mornings instead. Right. So you can, you can you can remove yourself from the cue but the cue will always exist in your neuroplasticity. The reward, your payoff will also always exist. If you are looking to decompress, that will always exist, if you were looking to not be bored, that will always exist.
For sure.
So the part that you can control is the behavior. The part that you can control is the actual habit itself. The action that you take, buying popcorn, buying cigarettes, you know, sitting in front of the TV versus going to the gym. You, that’s the part you can control. So you can’t actually just cut a habit. You actually have to replace it with something that gives you the same payoff. So if you’re looking to decompress, going for an intense run, might not be the thing that you’re looking for. For some people that works really well. I tried it, it does not work for me. That’s not the kind of decompressing I’m looking for. Right? So, so you have to replace it with something. So instead, believe it or not, I choose not to eat my supper with the TV on, I just eat in silence, maybe some music, it helps me decompress so quickly.
Right.
Don’t and then after that, my craving for the junk, it virtually disappears in my case.
And that becomes that, and you doing that, it becomes a ritual where you don’t even think of it anymore. Right. So that’s great.
A hundred percent.
I love that
Good stuff, folks. Well, that’s what we’ve got for you today. Tell us your imperfect inspired action for your habits. We want to hear from you. Yeah. And stay hopeful. You’re going to have a lot of failure on the way of changing habits. There’s data and failure.
Brilliant. I love that. See you next week.
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